Coping with Endings and Goodbyes While Living with Depression

“Goodbyes are not failures—they’re gentle reminders that every chapter, even the sweet ones, must end so the next one can begin.”
— Julius C.

---

Why Endings Feel Heavier with Depression

Endings can feel like earthquakes when you live with depression. Even small ones—a course finishing, a group chat growing quiet, or the last bite of celebration cake—can stir up disproportionate sadness. Why?

Because people with depression often rely on routine and predictability as emotional scaffolding. When something ends, especially something comforting, it disrupts the fragile rhythm we’ve carefully built.

It’s not just sentimentality. It’s nervous system survival.

According to a study in The Lancet Psychiatry, transitions—even positive ones—can spike cortisol and disrupt emotional regulation in those with mood disorders (Harrison et al., 2018). Simply put, change is harder when your baseline energy is already low.

---

The Psychology of Letting Go

Depression alters brain chemistry, particularly the neurotransmitters serotonin and dopamine—both involved in emotional regulation and reward. This means even small shifts can feel like major losses.

We’re not just mourning what is gone—we’re fearing what might not come again.

In Chapter 9 of my eBook (Depression – A Self-help Guide), I refer to this as part of “the emotional fine print” of depression. The brain mislabels transitions as threats. This explains why the end of a short course, a party, or even a friendship can feel like abandonment.

---

What We’re Actually Saying Goodbye To

When something ends, we’re often grieving:

• Structure: Routines that gave us purpose or rhythm
• Belonging: The social warmth of a group or community
• Hope: The anticipation that something good was happening
• Safety: Familiarity that made us feel “okay enough”

Understanding what you’re truly missing helps make sense of the emotional weight. Naming the loss gives it shape—and that shape can be softened.

---

How to Honour the Ending (Without Spiraling)

Let’s get practical now. Here are gentle, actionable steps for navigating endings when you’re already emotionally vulnerable:

---

1. Write a Closing Ritual

Create a journal entry or write a letter to the experience you’re parting with. This helps the brain process the event as closed with care, not abandoned.

✏️ “Thank you for the comfort, the laughter, the chaos. I’ll carry your lessons even as I step forward.”

---

2. Share the Story with Someone

Don’t isolate. Even sharing “I’m feeling off because my class ended yesterday” with a friend creates external validation. Which is exactly what I am doing now. *grin

Social connection tempers depression’s isolating effects (Cacioppo et al., PLOS ONE, 2017).

---

3. Create a Bridge, Not a Void

Instead of falling into a vacuum, bridge the goodbye with something small:

• Sign up for a new short course
• Start a journal series about your experience
• Create a “closure collage” or photo post to honour the moment

Tiny acts of continuity ease the nervous system.

---

4. Validate the Feeling—Yes, Even Over Cake

Remember: you’re not overreacting. Even a sugar-fueled farewell with pastries (like my recent experience!) can lead to a crash—physically and emotionally.

Don’t dismiss the sadness. Give it a chair. Let it sit beside you without shame.

---

5. Pause. Then Refill Your Cup

Instead of rushing to “move on,” create a recovery plan:

• Rest
• Eat nourishing food
• Limit sensory input (less doomscrolling!)
• Do one grounding activity (stretch, walk, shower)

This pause helps seal the emotional leak before you start something new.

---

Gentle Reminders for the Road Ahead

• You’re allowed to grieve what others deem “small.”
• Endings are not erasures—they are echoes.
• There’s courage in beginning again, but also in resting after something ends.
• Healing isn’t linear. And closure doesn’t mean you stop missing it.

---

💌 Let’s Keep the Light Going

If this piece brought you comfort, let me know. 💬
Comment your thoughts, share with someone who might need it, and subscribe so you never miss a post that speaks to your soul.

---

☕ Help Me Keep Writing (And Keep My Tea Warm)

If my words feel like a warm blanket on a bad day, consider tossing a coin to your blog bard!
Your donation helps me keep creating heartfelt content and coffee-fueled healing.

👉 Support Here
Even $5 means I get one more oat latte closer to clarity ☕😄

---

🔮 Next on the Blog:

Sweet Tooth, Bitter Crash: How Sugar Impacts Depression

Ever wondered why a single cookie can lift you up—and crash you down? In our next post, we’ll explore the sugar-mood rollercoaster and why it matters so much for those living with depression. Backed by science and sprinkled with humour (and crumbs).